After All
by OptimismIsGood
Summary: This is how she connects with me, giving me access to her soul through her willingness, her eyes, while opening up her body to me -I am convinced this is why I was saved, turned and given this chance.  So, I could have her, she'll have me, for Eternity
1. Prologue

After All

APOV

We were in Bella's room, lounging while we talked.

She has been little by little making herself more comfortable against me, her body more intimately tangled with mine. But innocent, unaware and obliviously, so it seems. A comfort, progressively, something that's become so second nature to her over the last couple weeks that she does it without thinking. It's a startling intimacy if I allow myself to think too much about it. But it has definitely ignited my desire both emotional and physical.

I can't tell if she can feel it, that my demeanor toward her is alight. If she were to make even the subtlest overture, I'd respond in kind. She must intrinsically sense some sort of shift or she wouldn't gravitate the way she does, would she? With such comfort in her body, how she uses it to be with me in a more demonstrative way than she has before.

"You saw this didn't you, that I'd have this conflict with him, and with her?" she asked as she propped her head up onto her palm. It seems Rosalie had cornered Bella and voiced her blatant disregard for my befriending a human girl. Covert I might add, approaching her behind my back.

"Not saw it so much, as expected that if circumstances brought certain conversations to light, you'd stand up for what you feel. You'd live what you believe. And, there would be conflict."

"And that Edward would pull the 'I'm her brother, we're a family' card?" she queried.

"Yes, I saw that. I didn't want you have to go through that" I say, trying to not give away too much as I meet her eyes.

She may eventually see how it fits into a bigger scheme of things, that it's only a difficulty now, it won't be later. But, I can't say that, not yet. I can't tell her what I've seen. I have to let events unfold, without interfering.

"Ok, well, whatever I guess" she laments, giving up for now. She runs the bottom of her socked foot up my calf, watching to see if I'll play. She does this, finding some teasing, touching way of being affectionate with me. I watch her eyes, and smile. A minute goes by. She switches to running her hand along my leg that's draped over hers. The tips of her fingers lightly scratching against the double seam of my skinny jeans. She looks up, tentatively.

"Alice, you'll stay right?" She hasn't been in a mindset where she wanted to be around them, around my family. When it's like this we have to wrangle just for some calm, it's exhausting. And, she's been asking me to stay more frequently, slowly getting closer and revealing herself to me. Mostly, it's engaging philosophically, beyond emotionally, laying bare her mind, it's workings. And wanting me to tell her my views on larger issues of existence. Which I guess is natural, not just for the age that she is, but that she has been made aware to 'the fairy tale' of what we are, being real. Maybe, other things she thought were fantasy are not? That may be what the questions and discussions are a result of. But, this would just be her I suspect, that's just her curious mind, currently heightened to a level of questioning that goes with the recent revelation and acceptance.

She's curious and willing to admit what we don't know. And, this is who she is, that she navigates the world in combination through her intellect, intuition and that other portal that she doesn't have a name for, that is her soul. The entity that we acknowledge someone like me could've still retained once I transformed. No one knows for sure so why not be positive. Can't prove it either way, that's her theory.

It's during one of these long nights, she's wide awake and energized with the stimulation of all the possibilities and of plausible answers. Even if they're just guesses, hypothesis, or intellectual rants, she doesn't care, she's fired up. We've been down the list of topics; souls, God, aliens, the cosmos, the ancient greeks, western civilization, the founding fathers, the pyramids, stonehenge, architecture, anthropology, no, not the retailer, tho' I'd engage that, and more, when she starts to wind down.

She fell asleep in my arms, intimately entangled, fully clothed limbs mimicking the positioning of slumbering lovers, entwined after heated and prolonged intimacy. I have to laugh and keep my mind reined in as the thought of how this looks and feels stirs all my appetites. My instincts to have her and indulge what my nature wants. I let the thoughts be, as I am amused by them and focus instead on her breathing. Her humanness will never grow old for me. I am enraptured by it.

And, I read her. She's a good girl, she believes in love and monogamy and forgiveness. And. that the deepest, most meaningful experiences are earned. She earns hers, and expects me to earn mine. I have to be present and reveal, no short cuts. She'll let me have time to reveal, within reason, she doesn't rush me. But I have to be honest and tell her that I am withholding, that I will find the time and the words to share. No free pass. I have to be accountable. And, it's all willing and unassuming. She gives freely and openly when she's being heard, appreciated and feels unconstrained. Which is why what came next was such a betrayal.

I was being pressured and I panicked, I didn't want to run, take off, but I did. We did. It wasn't planned, and I did allow myself to be talked into something that I knew in the back of my mind and in my soul, was wrong. But I went along with it. The incident at her birthday party didn't help, it truly scared me, and that was pretty much the nail in the coffin. Yeah, bad analogy.

Over cautious would be how they'd describe it. Controlling would be my words. Edward had a lot to do with it, and Rosalie, too. Convincing Carlisle to convince everyone else. They had been the two family members that never wanted me to allow myself to even consider a human as a mate. But, mate isn't a choice, it already is. By the time I made the realization, the stars had already aligned, long before. And, they were getting ahead of everything, in all their panicking. We weren't anything but friends before we left. Yeah there was subliminal energy, we didn't talk about it, it was just a warmth that permeated our time together, and a trust, too. And, before I knew it, I was saying goodbye to her, watching her heart break while she wrestled with herself between being hurt, angry and confused. I'm not this person, someone who does this, but I'm not a lot of things I seem to be these days. Least of which is apparently mated to a teenage, human girl.

While we were away, I looked for her, and sometimes I could see her and other times, not. For the most part, I had assuaged my guilt for giving in to my coven, my family, but never really Ok. In my actions of giving in to them, I had betrayed myself. When I left her that day in the forest.

I did catch one rather blurry series of images of Bella, and it scared me beyond anything I could've ever imagined.

BPOV

Staring down at the rolling seas below, in a half courageous, half desperate grab for an overwhelming feeling of rush, I leap heading more quickly than I anticipated toward the icy, ocean waters below. In the mili second it took to hit the surface, a flash, an insight, almost a look in beyond the mortal coil. Completely by surprise- a clarity, a split second, "Oh. My. God. I. Love. Alice."

APOV

I didn't see anything specific in her mind, but I felt like I could go to her, in hopes that she would welcome me, at least listen.

Yeah, I'm assuming she's a combination of hurt, angry confused, and probably well, I can't even predict what else. I have to be ready for anything, I guess.

Even though, I can't wait, to see her. I haven't looked into her eyes or put my arms around her in so long, and I hope that I can figure my way around everything that she'll want to put voice to. Maybe I can convince her to forgive me.

Not sure what that jump from the cliffs was, but I assume that it's complicated, and probably not just a product of one motivator. She may be grasping for a thrill to liven up the feelings that my leaving induced into her young, heart broken life. I think, too, she may've wanted to do what she saw Jacob's friends do, as she seems to have that tom girl streak. She's got a renegade side being Charlie's only kid, no son for him. And their bond has an unconventional quality to it. It's probably a ton of other stuff that I hope I am in her life close enough and long enough to learn about. When we can look back on this difficult time and laugh that we got through it, stronger and closer in spite of it.

I need to tell her how sorry I am, what a tragic misjudgment I made. I can't tell her about being mates, or that I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love with her, but I think, she already knows. That may work for me, or it may work against me. She may just now be figuring out that she has feelings for me. The pixelated and broken images that I received, didn't really include any of her thoughts going over the cliffs. But I may see a change and it feels in my soul and in my heart that it could be an amends, that hopefully will result in her being able to forgive me.

The only thing I could clearly make out is that she'll see my Dad's car parked outside her house when she returns. The ER visit will mess with some of my timing. Charlie will be called away and Jacob will continue his rant, when they arrive. Trying his best, the Animal in him, the natural enemy of my Monster, to steer her decisions of who she should spend her time with. It's many things for him, a gender thing, a species thing, a cultural thing, and a pride thing. All of it. Poor boy, doesn't stand a chance. She'll be conflicted because he's been loyal and they've been in each other's lives for so long. She knows hurt and disappointment, so she'll want to spare him that, hoping that he may intrinsically or intuitively read her so she won't have to say anything that is a blatant rejection. Those feelings are fresh for her (thanks to Me) so she has compassion for him, as I do for her.

I'll have to let her swat at my reaching for her, let her push me away. That is after all what she feels I did to her when I left. I have to bear the range of anger, hurt, disappointment, maybe other emotions that I've not anticipated.

She may even send me away, not let me in to plead for her forgiveness, I am not sure. If she does, so be it, I'll survive the night. If I can at least see her, look in her eyes, and give her some hope that in a matter of a couple hours, the recent pain has been flipped 180 degrees. Not unlike when I created said pain, in less than an afternoon, catching her completely off guard.

I've made it here, her shock and disbelief initially giving way to a broader range of emotions. First, she can't trust that I"ve returned, then how could I have left in the first place. The pendulum of emotion goes back and forth. She's yelled and slapped at me, her hurt arising in a burst of flailing hands, not intending to hurt me, just frustrated. Hitting isn't her style anyway, it's just an outcome of the recent past, feeling her powerlessness. I reach to catch her hands in mid swing in hopes to touch her. But mostly, to try and make sure that she doesn't accidently make contact and hurt herself. I am so relieved that she is alright, not knowing how to interpret that cryptic series of images. Not seeing her emerge from the deep, freezing ocean. Momentarily my dead heart, broken. I guess that made us even for a time, briefly, as I had broken hers.

LATER

By the grace of some power greater than I could fathom of my own flawed making, she let's me pull her into my arms and she breaks like the little girl that she still is. So conflicted to both seek comfort from me while knowing that I am the cause of her pain. But, her compassion exceeds an agenda to hold a grudge or to punish, and fortunately for me, she is also glad that I have returned and have promised that I will never leave her again. Her eyes are alight with the promise of the pain of my departure, the nightmare she has endured, has ended. I think she believes me when she buries her face between my ear and shoulder and warns me that if I ever break that promise, to never leave her, I'll live all eternity to regret it

The tears have stopped and she's spent, it seems. The physical, demonstrative intimacy that we shared before I left, returns as she moves toward her small bed, lays down pulling me with her. She fits right back into her spot against me, as if these months never passed. She got to say how it's been for her, and she now settles in, turning her face away from me for a few minutes. It's calm in her modest room, finally. I feel her soft, warm, human body grasp me as she let's some quiet be here between us. I like when it's quiet, peaceful, and I'm so relieved, content holding her.

Some time passes, she's not asleep, just still. She extracts herself from beside me, standing up and she paces a few times. Something has sparked in her. She turns toward me, before telling me she'll be right back. Something is different, but I don't know what it is.

I'm blindsided, a flash, a vision, not more than a second and a half -almost a firecracker going off in my head. The imagery intense but brief. I'm caught completely off guard but I don't let it manifest in my demeanor.

She returns and crawls back into bed. Propping herself up on her elbow the side of her head resting in her palm

She's not saying anything, just looking into my eyes. She got up to take care of human tasks and returns smelling of mint toothpaste, and changed into sleepwear She stares into my eyes, stroking my forearm but not saying anything. I don't know what this means, but I don't care, the energy in the room has shifted, and I have all the time in the world, eternity even, to stare back into those beautiful eyes. Briefly, I think that she must be tired but she seems awake, alight even with something burning in her, but I don't have a clue what. Unless? Is this what I've been waiting for, finally it's here?

Sure, I anticipated as much as I could the range of emotion that she'd possibly exhibit. And, when it was all out, calm had taken over, she surprises me. The quiet, the looking in my eyes, no words, just her hand, the back of her hand stroking my forearm. Her gaze grows more intense, but no words. I don't want to fuck with the silence. The intensity of it is a lead in, and I don't want to interfere. Tick, tick, tick. Tension is building, anticipation really. There's no clue in my head, no vision, just me in the moment, waiting.

Then, as if it's the only option left, she slides her hand across my arm to my lower back and pulls me toward her. Her eyes close and she leans in brushing her lips against mine. Warmer, softer and more intense than anything my mind could've imagined, her mouth and warm breath and tongue mixed with mine. We reach and touch and kiss for what feels like hours though I know it is only a few minutes. Her soft feminine body is aroused quickly under my hands and my mouth.

I had expected a couple outcomes from my return, but this caught me completely by surprise. We made love simply and effortlessly, and afterward, bare skin warm against me, she's gone rag doll almost literally dead weight on my chest. Her head turned sideways, her shoulders, the front of her arms flush against me, all the way down to the backs of her hands. She's completely spent, trying to keep up with me, stubborn, competitive, and now resigned. Asleep in under a minute. And, if I could cry at how beautiful she is, right now, this second, her forgiveness, her courage, her humanness, I'd be on my knees, weeping. Yeah, I'm in love with her. After all, as if there was ever any doubt.

APOV

With nothing to do but hold her while she sleeps, my mind wanders replaying how beautiful a small sliver of time can be. Until I see that Charlie will be arriving shortly. I emerge from under a sleeping Bella to search her room for a scented candle, light it and tuck the covers around her to hide her nakedness in the event he wants to make sure she's actually here. I slip down the hall to wash my hands and face.

I'm sitting on the couch when Charlie comes through the front door.

This was the riot act I had to endure from him when I showed up unannounced after my family left and she had taken the leap from the cliffs. I had returned, hoping beyond hope she was Ok. Even without official confirmation of the leanings of the relationship, decorated detective and chief of police knew the score and didn't let me off the hook even though he didn't come out and say anything specific. The subtext was all there. He held me on the plane of a committed, serious part of his daughter's life, and on the hook for how events had gone down. What could I say, he was right. I met his eyes and owned my part. I left, my family left, I wasn't specific of course, but I never looked away from his eyes or faltered in agreeing with him. Poor Charlie, twisting in all his parenting angst about his only child's behavior the last five months.

I didn't see it in a vision, what his demands were, but from a human perspective, it made perfect sense.

He insisted on the formal parental meeting after my family returned from South America. I'm sure it would be the men, the fathers, and knowing Esme she'd probably show up to stand by Carlisle. And, defer to him because Renee wouldn't be able to be there. It's a guy thing, anyway, they'll be more at ease, if they don't have to talk about their daughters in front of a woman unless there's two women there, which kinda balances it out, making it less awkward. I'm guessing, anyway. And, I'm sure it won't be easy for Charlie especially. Fathers and daughters, that's a special deal, even if the boyfriend is actually a girlfriend, or whatever gives it the gravity that it deserves since this is more than a friendship albeit undefined scenario. Behaving, subtly but consistently, in our hearts and souls, affectionate, caring and committed. But, it's easier for Carlisle because he's a doctor and he knows what our family is. Charlie is just a human Dad, so not as much of the real story. But, I still think there's the awkward Dad thing for Carlisle, too. I think he's just used to certain things because of dealing with humans, anatomy, life and death. But, I don't want to be within ten miles of which ever residence that 'lil chat takes place. No siree, keep me away from that.

BPOV

"I'm glad that you're feeling better, that you're back to normal but you're not out of the woods yet- "

I figured at some point the relief would wear off, and he'd eventually start asking questions or step into parent mode, and less than a day later, I'm right.

"I'm concerned about the rabbit hole, the months that you were so sad, couldn't do anything, one foot in front of the other, just barely."

I looked him in the eye, knowing what my feelings are, still buzzing and a flush in my soul and my body. The secret night I just spent, intimately, making love with Alice. Charlie got the call of my being pulled from the water, and insisted I go to the ER. Alice waiting for me when I got home.

He'd let me sleep pretty much the whole day, only checking on me to make sure that I was truly in my bed as he hoped.

"And, I'm glad things have worked out like you wanted, but I can't let you just go back as if those frightening months never happened. Think about this, see someone, talk it out. Don't let your initial fear keep you from seeing a bigger picture.

He paused.

"I contacted one of the departments' professionals, to get a referral."

I knew there'd be a price to pay for the months of lethargy, for the spontaneous leap, for all of it, this I didn't expect.

"I'll go with you, you won't be there alone the first time, I'll be next to you. Or in the waiting room, for as long as you want."

"Oh, and, this isn't a negotiation, this is how it's going to be. We'll do what the professional recommends."

I rolled my eyes, I figured he'd probably have something up his sleeve. And, he was hesitating, he wasn't done just yet.

"You should know, I'll be having a talk with Dr. Cullen. The parents, together."

My heart dropped, my stomach lurched, I felt dizzy. I tried to look normal as I glanced up to meet his eyes.

"Charlie, -what could possibly be worrying you that- "

"You don't want me to answer that, do you?"

"No, no, please, forget I said anything." I wasn't going to talk him out of that one.

"Parents do this kind of thing, Bella. I was so worried recently and although it's better now, I still have my concerns."

"I guess that's not a negotiation, either?"

"Uh. No."

x X x


	2. My Human Does Not Go Without

A/N: Have read some great B/A fiction here and when I began to get close to wrapping up the first story I posted (yeah, -take a look, I put a lot of heart/soul into that one) I knew that if I let go, the next idea would come to me. Here it is. I wanted a place to put (creatively) things that I was living through in my life. Someone who left Us a while ago used to say "art will change your life" and I used to think I knew what that meant. I have found recently, another meaning for what that vague but insightful phrase can point to. So, for all the writers who fearlessly scribbled and tapped out their stories I've enjoyed, some of which I reviewed, I thank you for giving me hours of entertainment and some thought provoking and head scratching opportunities to be inspired. And, it's encouraged me to try my hand at this fandom. I haven't read SMeyer's books. I don't plan on reading her books. But, I like that she has created a paradigm, human/animal/monster. That essentially is the foundation of her only real brilliance, and a fantastic way of looking at the human experience through storytelling. I liked the films and the B/A in my head, look and feel how they are depicted in the cinematic versions. Don't get me started on KS, or I'll never get through this A/N. She's sublime. Most of this story will be Alice's POV. The POV isn't equal between both characters, and maybe I have something to learn about myself and my writing and I may even out the POV as I go along. Right now what's currently in draft form living on my laptop is mostly APOV. That said, let's put some context around a couple things.

The prologue was just a summary to set some things up. And, I plan on using 'flashback' cause I'll need it as the more 'draft' I wrote, trying to figure out what I wanted, the more time passed. It seemed like I'd never post anything, unless I just put together a basic place to start. Hence, the prologue. All characters are basically canon with the exception of the main pairing, obviously. That said, Edward was never a love interest for Bella and Jasper as far as this A/N writing, is not Alice's ex-anything. (not married, never involved romantically) As written in the prologue, Jake is present and we are roughly set in a New Moon-ish timeframe. Everything else is basically canon, I don't know if there'll be a victoria/james or newborns conflict scenario. Or, as we draw closer to BD what they could encounter because their vampire/human liaison is forbidden. Some things are still undecided and that's kind of exciting to me. My intent in writing this is to show what B/A, have to become aware of, allow themselves to struggle with, learn, manage and overcome in order to be together. About the only thing that is of my own devising is that B is coerced to talk to a professional -Oh, and Charlie stretches his idea of who Bella's love/romantic interest and later 'eternal love' is. Girl/girl, yeah, he's Ok with it.

And, I have no intention of whoring myself out for reviews, -it takes a lot to conceive/draft, write, edit and share- But, it's The Muse ultimately that is driving it. Yeah, reading is great, and ultimately I write for myself first, foremost and always, but think about putting a little something back, -can't wait for the next update, if that's all you can come up with, I guess it'll have to be. It already is. It takes all of us.

x X x

Present Day

BPOV

"What did he say Alice?"

"What Charlie said, to you, -Yeah, they're going to talk. Your Dad and my Dad, maybe Esme, too, it's gonna happen."

"Great" I said sardonically, rolling my eyes.

Sometimes, she came in through the window, and Charlie didn't know that she was in my room. Other times, she came through the front door, saying 'Hi' and all the usual visitor behavior. Charlie always liked Alice, and I would later find out that went a long way.

She sat on edge of my bed, watching me shut down my laptop, my homework finally complete. Hers was done of course, and the good thing about having a vampire girlfriend, in case there's more than one thing, was tutoring on any subject, homework wise, anyway. I met her eyes and began.

"What is it, Alice, why do you look like that?"

"He's asking again-" she doesn't finish her sentence

"Your Dad?"

"Yeah, Carlisle, my Dad, he's asking again if-

"Oh really, again? Uugghh-

She met my eyes, frustration mounting in hers. Frustration that I've seen for a couple weeks now.

"He's vague but he's getting at that, what I told you about the other day that I didn't mention before when it happened or right after."

(PAUSE)

"I know it's precaution and I get it and all but, I hate that our, what's private between us -"

"I know right, it makes Me really uncomfortable, I'm not thrilled, it's a trade off, though- "

"Yeah, unfortunately- "

PAUSE

"And, no one else in the family goes through this, just me- , scrutinized, under the microscope."

"I know Babe, I'm sorry, but I'm in it too, it's not just you. Charlie's got the same weird look on his face, just teetering on wanting to say something- , but at the same time not wanting to know. Granted it's for a different reason, but the same basic idea is in his head, he thinks of Us like that"

"And, he should, we are like that, we love each other"

"Yeah, of course, he should, and I'm glad he does, in the bigger picture. We are that, I'm glad we're that. I'm just saying, it's happening over at the Swan house too, and I hate it, but it's better than hiding."

"So, what did you say exactly? He's not asking if we-"

She looked at me.

"Just about my control, when it's manageable and when it's dangerous, and how do I, what do we do to, what precautions, Oh God, I hate this - "

She stood up and paced around, ultimately sitting back down at the edge of my bed, looking in my eyes.

"It has to happen, soon, I have to have 'the talk' with him soon"

LATER

APOV (flashback)

_We were in bed, talking, and I felt like I had to come clean, let her know. It would just help us in the long run. We had so much emotion that night that I came back, and I didn't want to broach the subject just then. I wanted peace and calm for a day at least. So that first morning that she woke up would've been the best time to mention it, but I was elated and jubilant, -I didn't want to think about it._

_I picked a strange time to have to say something, but sometimes circumstances help us out. This is what happened. We had a day, no big shakes, just young lovers enjoying each other, affection, lots of kissing, the usual. Just like any two, whatever we are, any two of those. Later when we started to make love, which I was dying, absolutely dying to do again, it occurred to me that probably a little bit of back story might do us some good. _

"_Mmmm, Babe, Oh, uh, Charlie's not left yet. We should probably wait a few minutes at least. Besides, there's something I want to tell you."_

"_Alice, it's Ok, he stuck his head in already, he never does that twice before he leaves. He's probably making his way toward the front door now."_

"_Uh, No. He's not. And, Babe, this'll be so much easier if we don't give him any reason to ban me from your room. I know you're eighteen and all, but it's his house. Well, it's yours too, but he makes the rules. Let's not give him a reason to draw a line, Ok. You can wait ten minutes right?"_

"_Sure, I have the patience of an adult, why not."_

_She sat up and took a deep breath. Her wanting me from the brief minutes she tried to do a little more than kiss and fondle me is obvious in disheveled hair and sensual, heavy lidded expression. She hates if I stop her, feeling so entitled to act on everything that she feels. She's going to find out soon, how impractical that can be for us, just now._

"_Well, what did you want to talk about?"_

"_Well, the other night, when we were uh, you know- "_

"_Yeah"_

"_Bella, I want so much for us, and there's a lot that we can have, a lot. And, Oh, yeah, we've talked about the caution, how our parents each have the informed and not so informed ideas. Well, especially my Dad, he's right in all of his worry. _

"_What are you trying to say Alice, you can tell me. I've probably thought of it already anyway. I get that we have limits that other couples don't have, at least right now, right."_

"_Yeah, oh yeah, we have limits, that's what I'm trying to say. Well, two things. One, I really want you, all of you, and want you to have all of me, maybe well that's another conversation for later. I don't want to get half way- have to stop you and say, Oh, uh, you can't do that. It's a buzz kill and a real mood killer. Makes more sense to have the conversation when we're not, hot and in the throes. The other thing is, although I trust myself and I know you trust me, You have to be aware that if I ask you to give me a minute or something similar, there's a reason. Even if it may not be apparent through all the usual ways in which you normally perceive things. Ok? _

"_I don't know what that means, exactly"_

_Part of the reason when we were together the first time, that it went smoothly and without any real issues is you caught me by surprise and it was quick."_

_(PAUSE)_

_I'm almost sad that it was so fast, except it was so spontaneous and beautiful. It never occurred to me that we would have a kiss and just full on do it. But, you've always surprised me and almost always in the best ways. And, it's ours, it's the first time we made love and so it's exactly what it was supposed to be. But, I don't know how to manage the monster yet, so I don't know what to expect. That's what I'm trying to say. Just because everything went so smoothly and effortlessly, doesn't mean it's always going to be that easy."_

"_Oh, Ok, I think I get what you mean. We don't know yet, it's a surprise each time?"_

"_Yeah, I guess that's one way of phrasing it. I think that with different settings, scenarios, different things we try, I'll have to manage in a different way. I'm guessing, I've never been here before, so it's new for me too."_

"_Different things we try, mmmm, I like how that sounds."_

"_Yeah, me too." _

_So, it's a conversation we'll just continue to have?"_

_Yeah, you've seen up close some aspects of what this is like. My life's not that different than yours, except for the eat, sleep, cry thing, and this. Sex is different for us, and mates and territorial and all that. It's the same as humans, just accelerated, the difference between a japanese economy car and a formula one racer. Sorry, but I'm a car person, I can't help it."_

"_You just compared me to a foreign economy car? Cause I just think I heard the front door close, and, wait for it, that's the cruiser starting up, we're alone. But, now I'm not so sure I want to- "_

"_Oh, my human, it's not personal to you, it's metaphor- "  
>"I know, I'm just giving you crap. Let's do it now."<em>

_I laughed and pulled the covers over both our heads. _

_(end flashback)_

LATER

APOV

We're in Bella's room, and I'm getting ready to go home and talk to the parents.

It's not so bad I guess, if I can find just the right language to say what I need to say, without having to divulge too much detail. Believe me, he doesn't really want to ask anyway, he's just being a good vampire Dad. You can do this Alice, Suck it Up. Yeah, I almost made myself laugh.

LATER

I had just got done telling her why I think the shrink thing is a good idea. She's not happy, arms folded, brow creased and can't imagine how in any universe we both can fathom, I'd take her father's side over hers. This is when she forgets that I've lived as long as I have. I have wisdom, and well, mileage.

"I want you to find out what's under there, it may be more than just disappointment or first broken heart. Charlie is an insightful man, and, well, I agree with him.

What lies ahead, a committed life together, Us, a couple, it's big, huge. Not to mention, the netherworld aspect of this, that's 'altering' beyond anything that someone on this side can conceive of. Even seeing it as close up as you are seeing it now. Nothing prepares us for it.

She shifts uncomfortably on the couch, we've stopped the movie and are talking, and it's turned a little more heated than I think we originally intended. Tomorrow is another session and she's not sure why she's even there.

"If I could remember my life, if I had my memories, maybe it would've been good for me to have some insight into my background, what made me who I was, and resolution is always a good thing. ALWAYS."

The fact that I just made it personal about me has perked her up. She's interested in what I'm going to say next. She's always felt a little slighted as well as feeling sad for me that I can't remember my human life. She doesn't get to know who I used to be. Ironic isn't it, sees the future, can't remember the past. Who'd have thought, right?

"I've seen you change since we've been close, open about our feelings, and sharing them, and the best of them. I see that something that wasn't complete before is growing and changing because we love and trust each other. I want that to continue. Mostly, I want you to have any chances that can make you more whole, chances others don't get, that I didn't get. Insights, direction, alternate points of view. This is a masters' thesis in human behavior, it's a gift. Think about it, try to look at is as discovery. Not someone telling you who you are. You find out who You are by revealing, and listening to other people reveal. With someone who is an expert in behavior. I didn't get that, I woke up and I was 'this' and I was fully in it, struggling to find my way through. Until I had the vision that led me to Carlisle. I believe I would've benefited from help. Think about Charlie, he's afraid, but he's more afraid of doing nothing and it all goes to hell, slipping through his hands. You and I know that's not gonna happen. Those days are over, I'm here, we're together going forward. Those five months, never again. We both KNOW that. But, if there's hurt still there, or something else that may come out covertly another way, I hurt you, I know I did, even though I was trying to protect you. Take advantage of it. You never know. And, anything you do, have, believe, any attribute or talent you possess as a human makes you a better immortal. Think of it that way. You're in training. Believe me, before you are turned, Emmett and Jasper will put you through your paces. You won't just short cut and get handed this great, transformed body. They're gonna work you out on this side, long before you cross over. Physical, mental, fighting, the whole nine. They can't wait, it's an experiment to them. They're going to be your very own personal trainers. It's the same thing. Think of it that way."

"I'm going to have my very own personal trainers?"

Oh, God, cat's outta the bag on this. Tom girl can't get that grin off her face now.

"I always liked those two, Em and Jas"

"Yeah, they like you too, specially Em."

"Honey, your Dad, he's being a conscientious parent, be glad about that. And, he's not turning a blind eye outta fear, he's facing a parent's worst nightmare. Broken hearted teenager, months of depression, and an unclear incident that as far as intention goes is open for interpretation. Could be read as careless thrill seeking or veiled desperate attempt to 'feel' or a cry for help. He doesn't know for sure, no one does, only you know. And, it's not punishment. It's an opportunity to find out what's under some of the things that maybe you'd not thought about that could be a huge asset later. Hell, maybe even now. An opportunity a lot of people never get. And, the support system to go through it and not have to do it alone. He's here, I'm here, my parents, at least two of my brothers, your Mom, that's a support system. And, no judgment, he's not judging. Not You, Me, Us or my less than stellar choice to leave and return, or you for how you feel or us for being the less than conventional pairing he probably thought for the majority of your life, he would get. We're pretty lucky, on balance. Let's spin it, half full, at least try to think of it that way. And, it's not like what my parents are doing, delving into my personal life, he's not. That's the least of his worries since I can't get pregnant or get you pregnant. And, he's doesn't know that I could kill you with the involuntary effort of a human sneeze. My parents know that, hence why I have to endure the talk, and the indignity of our intimacy being scrutinized. Even as a human, I didn't get what Charlie is trying to help you with now. My human parents bought into the conventional wisdom of the day and let fear drive them to make a choice that took me away from them. As if I was dead, and that lead ironically, to this, I am dead, essentially.

"Don't say that Alice, you're not dead, you're alternative alive."

I smiled and laughed, ever the optimist, my Bella.

Yeah, Ok, we'll go with that. Alternative Alive."

(PAUSE)

"Charlie wants to support you during whatever you learn about yourself, he'll negotiate something with you, that's a gift. I know it's scary but what we are embarking on is much scarier, you're just too in love to feel the fear. Not that I think that's bad, I don't but you- , don't know and can't see from over here, it's impossible. You just have to take my word for it."

I was starting to exasperate myself. Was I even getting through?

"Ok, it's probably just that it hasn't kicked in for me yet. I asked Charlie if he's ever talked to any of the department shrinks, and he told me about some work instances when he was required to have a certain number of sessions in order to, I don't know, something happened on the job."

"Did he say he had a positive experience with it?"

"Yeah, but he wants me to do this, so of course he's going to say that, Silly."

"Yeah, but he's an honest guy, Bella. You get your integrity from him. Your mom, I'm assuming the same, I just haven't been around her yet."

"We're both doing things we're not thrilled about. But, we also get to do some things we're pretty thrilled about too."

(PAUSE)

"And as far as my parents, I know that at some point they went out to the woods together and decided that until I was more practiced at managing my thirst, my strength, my lust, we needed to have some limits around our intimacy. Like we're teenagers, or something, I've not been denied in decades, so this chaps me no end."

"Hey, nothing wrong with being a teenager, Alice, careful with your phrasing, someone you love could get offended."

"No, I don't mean it that way. But it's difficult to go backwards, I've lived decades as an adult without any type of limitations."

"I know, but in a way it makes us more equal, and it's just until you're more practiced with your, strength, thirst, appetites, well, all of it I guess"

"Yeah, and they're only cautioning, they're not saying- "

"Well, technically, they're recommending, they're not throwing down, a line in the sand or whatever- "

But still, I have supernatural pride, let's not forget"

"Ok, so- , like a supernatural ego?"

"Yeah, It's a pride thing, and a- "

"Be realistic, it's a caution thing, and they ask you to hunt before we spend time together and- "

"Yeah, it's something I can't explain unless someone knows what it's like to live without restrictions, and then, this, and the scrutiny. To have to try to explain, how and ugh, don't get me started."

"I know, but still, it's pretty livable and it'll be over one day, you're getting better, each time - "

Yes, I am, but Baby, you're intoxicating to me, I want you, all of you, and I want to not have to 'improvise' how we- "

I paused, I hated to sound like I was whining, but ugh. I took an unneeded breath.

"I guess this is the first time I've put voice to it, in front of you at least" I say.

"And, it's not like we don't, you know, anyway- "

She was right, even though I agreed with my parents (eye roll) it's not like we were abstaining- we're girls after all, it's easy and it's a lot of blurred lines, kissing, hands and more kissing and motion. And, I hunt a lot, before and after. I'd be bloated if we had any real physical manifestations of ingesting blood. We don't, it's instantaneously absorbed.

Well, temporary limitations aside, the bottom line is; My Human Does Not Go Without- enough said. And, yeah, it goes both ways, but I do put limits around putting her in danger, so we are less free than we will be when I'm more acclimated.

LATER

"Carlisle, Esme talked to me already." Yeah, that wasn't awkward, the only girl/girl pairing of the family. Of all the covens that we are acquainted with, I think.

"We had the 'I'm gonna want to act on these feelings and what's, what's, possible and what borders on dangerous until I'm more practiced- "

Even though I was a full grown adult with an intimate history when I joined the family, Esme and I talked then because she wanted us to bond even though she was a couple decades late. It was insightful, and I'll always go to her for- "

I looked up and my Dad, Carlisle, his brow furrowed looked concerned.

"You're looking at me like I'm missing something?"

"I know that your Mom talked to you already. And, I appreciate that. My concerns are more along the lines of your strength, and drives. They are different, deeper, harder to manage, and more is expected of you in terms of control.

Although you don't remember your human life, you have the advantage of both sides, of being both. She's an old soul but chronologically young, not a lot of experience around managing her feelings, urges, instincts, and such. And has only been what she is for a short time, relatively speaking."

"That we know of"

"Yes, but my point is, you're comic book superhero strong by comparison. All the while being driven more forcefully by what is instinct to you. We all are, Me, your Mom and your siblings. But we have equal strength, vampire mates so we don't have to manage the same way. And, one day, it won't be an issue. But, for now, you get the benefits and the challenges of a young, human girl"

PAUSE

"We want all each of you to have the benefit of our experience and it is a bonding opportunity as well. But, your situation is unique now. It's beyond that she's a she, but she's a human, so- "

"Double whammy"

"Yes, so to speak" he paused.

"So, you want me to make sure I'm species appropriate?"

"To begin with yes."

"Oh God" here goes, Embarrassing.

I look up and both of them are staring at me. Well meaning but, this would be so much easier if we were walking or something.

"I know that we have a road ahead of us, I've had to practice to resist her scent, her blood, so I can be with her and not lose control. Hell, even humans without heightened 'responses' and predatory tendencies that are necessary to navigate the netherworld, kill each other in domestic, passionate scenarios. Geez. Mostly, it's not a fair match up, my strength, speed, gypsy insight, etc. I can't help it, but neither can she. So, I wanted to be prepared. And, learning to manage the 'monster' the emotions that are unleashed, humans have to learn to do that, too. Addiction is about managing our feelings, that's why addicts use, why alcoholics drink, why many people when they have a drink have a cigarette or five but claim to not be smokers. Poor disillusioned hypocrites. Anything to not feel the difficult feelings. To tame the monster. All around, it's a good thing to get better at. And, I'll do whatever it takes to be my best because she chose Me."

"Good. Well, Honey, your Mom and I we're so proud of you. And, we love Bella. We couldn't be more thrilled."

"Yes, Honey, I love that you have her, your mate, finally. And, she's just beautiful, so kind, too."

"Thanks, Dad, and Mom. So I can go now, See ya."

"Uh, Alice, have a seat, Honey, we're just getting started."

LATER

BPOV

Group member discussion (in progress)

1: "I haven't been writing on the 5 x 7 cards, not like I was, not since I was here last week. Work has been hectic, and I didn't make the time"

Shrink: "Anyone else stuck or not motivated? It's Ok to admit it"

2: "I have but, I can't say it's profound, I'm not sure there's anything more useful than an "I did this today list" except it's not tasks, it's things I saw, like, became aware of-"

3: "I have, and what I write when I read it back, makes me sad, and angry - , I'm not sure what to do with it"

Shrink: "Do you have to do anything with it?"

3: "Well, being able to go forward with my day after I write and make the realization, would be good right?"

Shrink: "Maybe the realization, the feeling, not knowing what to do with it, maybe that is the purpose of your day, or that part of your day"

3: "Maybe, but it feels like it just sucks my energy out of me, and I think How do I do this without my parents, without a girlfriend, what people have who walk through this?"

Shrink: You're doing it, now, here with us. You have us, even when we're not in this room together, everyday we're walking through it too!

3: "I'm supposed to be looking for freelance work, I need an income -"

Shrink: "Are you looking?"

3: "Yeah, of course, not ten hours a day, but consistently, while trying to balance all the things we talk about here, living 24 hours at a time, just now, no farther ahead than that. While having the crappy feelings"

(Bella in her head) – _wow, going home alone, no Alice, no Charlie - And, I bitched about this, I uh, so Alice will pick me up and we'll go home, she'll ask about the session and she'll hear something that'll make her eyes go distant for a second, but then she'll be back again, then we'll watch TV, or read, she'll carry me upstairs and make love with me and I'll fall asleep after telling her about how lucky I feel -, God, not everyone has this- And, Charlie, he talks with the shrink every week like clock work, especially the weeks that I don't give him any detail, dang, I can be such a whiney, spoiled, I don't __even know-what)_

Shrink: "Who else, anyone?"

4:/ "I think something went on, a light, I don't know- , but it seemed like what had been missing was - "

Shrink: "Was what, go ahead, the group needs to hear what this is for you?"

4:/ "It occurred to me that what I'd been missing was something that encouraged me instead of judging. And, I haven't lived in that house, my parents' house in a long time, but, the thoughts go around in my head as if they are fresh and being said to me - "

Shrink: "You realized this is happening even tho' no one is here to say it?"

4:/ "Yeah, as if I say it to myself. I can't accept the gravity of this, that this is the work of my life- "

Shrink: "Can you elaborate on what that means, please - "

4:/ "this is more important than making money or running or creating- Maybe changing that voice, becoming free, losing those ideas- dispel the energy, to let other things happen- , but I won't know as long as that old voice drowns out everything else"

Shrink: "It can, yes- , So what happened when that thought came to you?"

4:/ "I cried, and I got angry then I was confused, how could all that be happening at the same time? How could I feel both glad that I'd created a life that in it's foundation is what I wanted, yet fundamentally be built on a lack of faith in myself, how do those ideas live inside one person?"

Shrink: "When things are going well and you're not challenged economically, artistically or romantically, do you feel capable?"

4:/ "Sure, I guess, I don't think about it- "

Shrink: "Anyone else, add anything to the topic, the difference between life being easy and life being difficult, or a new topic, we still have time"

1:/ "I find I need someone from outside me to confirm things, like my own interpretation isn't enough "

Shrink: "How so, a bit more detail if you can"

1: "Well, if I see someone else going through what I'm going through I have a deep compassion for them, instantly and unflinchingly"

Shrink: "And when it's you?"

1: "Im not doing it right or it'd be easier or over with, like it's a deficit in me"

Shrink: "Anything close to that, any one else, similar in the same way, a perception or feeling"

2: "Yeah, I feel some of that, but it's not as strong now as it's been before"

Shrink: "That's our time, good week for us. Be proud of yourselves, just being here is hard. Bella, stay back for a minute, can you?"

I looked up, pausing, waiting for the room to clear out. He looked at me.

Shrink: "Didn't hear from you, seemed like you were engaged, how do you feel?"

"I'm moved- that I could hear things, that sound like how I think and feel, sometimes, coming out of the mouth of someone else - "

Shrink: "So, you heard some of your own feelings or perceptions?"

"Yeah, maybe not as strongly or deeply or whatever, but the gist of it, I related."

Shrink: "How does that make you feel?"

"I think I see why I couldn't get out of that chair for five months when I was heartbroken"

Shrink: "So I'll see you later in the week, for our session?"

"Yeah, see you then."

Alice's car was a half a block away when I emerged out the building's exit, the courtesy door. I looked at her briefly but didn't say anything. She's used to me being quiet sometimes after a round with the group. She just reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

APOV

She's quiet, which isn't a surprise to me. We have a typical evening, typical for a night after she comes home from group. Charlie is working a double so we have the house to ourselves. I don't push her to say anything, but she's not making eye contact like she normally would be.

Later when she asked me to stay, I ask her if there was anything she wants to talk about.

"Babe, you Ok?"

"Yeah, just kinda thinking "

Her sentence trail off.

She looks me in the eyes, reaches a hand out to me.

"Is it Ok if we talk about it later? I don't know how to put words to it yet."

"As long as you're alright, of course."

I wasn't going to push the issue, she always comes around when she's ready. She wants to be known by me. So I just wrap an arm around her pulling her in.

She seems dead tired and although it wasn't always stellar or worthy of note, making love with Bella was always better than anything else. I know more about how to hold her, what she likes, when she wants a little more than 'being close' but not a production. This was one of those nights. Our comfort with each other must've turned some kind of corner, because she leaned forward, let go and went deep. We generally have privacy, and she's not self conscious. It was her eyes and how her body moved above me, in response to my touch. The waves of release, and how she shuddered, giving herself over completely, -the depth of her exhaling, and the sound. Her petite, feminine body moved purposefully against me. To try to phrase it with words seems kind of futile, but it was a noticeable depth. She was feeling vulnerable, so I didn't want to draw attention- I just wanted her to be 'satisfied' however that meant the most to her. Of course, I was so excited I was almost ready to burst when she let go- but she was different this time, than other times. I'm not quite sure what it meant. When she reached for me to Touch Me, I held her.

"Alice, I wanted to- "

Stroking her hair, believe it our not, even after that, something was still making her, I don't know, tense isn't the right word.

"It's Ok, whatever it is, that you know or feel. That you can't say, just now. Let it be here, give it space" I whispered. She was still, and started to raise her head.

"But, I wanted to- "

"It's Ok, don't worry about it. You obviously needed that. Just be comfortable." She didn't say anything. A few minutes went by and she shifted around atop me. She lay still not moving at all, barely even breathing. Then, something broke loose, and she began to cry. What could I do? I held her, comforting her until she was done. A minute later, she was out like a light.

- x X x -


	3. It's Own Kind of Thirst We Manage

_She looks so peaceful, sleeping like that. She had earlier been conflicted about showing up for that session. Maybe there was some sort of breakthrough. Our intimacy seems to have left her absolutely wrecked after whatever happened in that room. She'll tell me, sometimes it takes a day or two. She eventually brings it up, off hand and almost a throw away. A couple cryptic sentences at first but later she'll find ten ways to tie it into something else. And, she'll be different, a new way, less resistance, and I'll see her struggle a little bit, but in the end, mature and proud that she pushed herself. Or it'll show up in conversation when I'm trying to get her to see a point I'm making. A point that up to now in her young, yet to be lived life, she has not yet experienced. She'll be more open and compliant. Not that she isn't those things, she is, she's a reasonable girl. But, based on what I just witnessed, an hour ago, my human needed to let go. Needed to be touched, distracted but ultimately be showered in my love and acceptance. I'm so grateful that I can do that, read her and be here when it matters most. And, making love like a powerhouse- hey, there are worse ways to heal, that's for sure. My Vampire-side likes it. Anything that has to do with sex, enough said._

_I wonder how much more will manifest this way? I don't really care, I'm just thinking. A lot of our intimacy is new for us. I can think of like 15 things we haven't done yet, haven't gotten even close to contemplating. A rich, diverse intimate life takes time. It evolves organically over successively, incrementally, progressive experiences. I've been a bit cautious, no doubt. The monster has been laying low, I guess it hasn't been riled up yet. Being physically intimate together is new for us. And, yeah, it's exciting, it's euphoric, it's it's own kind of 'thirst' that we manage. I trust when 'said' monster appears I'll know what to do when I have to. It occurs to me that, it'll probably be when, well, I'm just guessing, we'll see what happens. _

_What else, hmmm, while my human sleeps? And, of course if she's transformed, that first year, maybe two, hunting and sex, hunting and sex, hunting and sex. So, yeah, life's good. If we could get 'newbie' to want to shop, that would just be perfect!_

_We have all the practical challenges that new couples face. Does she want to go to college? What about a career. Her creativity. Where do we want to live? A bungalow on the property near the family? (sound proof, and earthquake proof, of course) We have a ton of options. _

_I have my work cut out for me. And, what Charlie is asking her to do will be a bigger help to her both now and later than she can see today. She has her work to do; Be, feel, open up, reveal, delve, listen, ponder, write, read, maybe some other things, too. Ultimately, it's maturity crammed into a short term scenario. The benefits she gets will serve her even if she never wanted to join me in the netherworld. But, we'll both have great, tangible rewards, from the work we are doing. We are in a training of sorts, me to resist her scent, blood, tame the monster, not accidently kill her. And, hers is to see if there's anything undone that can make her more whole. Maybe I should design some 'training' outfits for us. What would mine look like? What would someone design for a hundred year old, teenage looking female vampire to be able to make love to their teenage, human girlfriend without accidently killing her? Maybe we should submit that as a final challenge on one of those design shows. See what a competing panel of spoiled, under experienced, over educated, wanna be fashionistas can come up with. _

_Just a thought, -this culture must be getting to me. _

_I really want time, alone, all the accoutrement of being a full fledged real, honest to god, committed couple. It's why I agreed to do what ever I needed to, so I could be her mate while she's human. Having to 'improvise' our intimacy because it can be life threatening- let me just say, huge pain in the ass. Sometimes, when I'm not thinking clearly, I'm so frustrated. I want so much more than what I feel like I can actually have. And, it's so ironic too, finally want to 'do everything' and well, we get what we get, I guess. But, that's Ok, on this other level, it is very satisfying, and she's so willing and present and loving. I can see in her eyes, in how she thinks about me, cares for me and worries about me. She loves Me. I have no doubt. How it is right now, it's not always going to be like this. I suspect, we'll have to make room in our lives for when it's all about the 'newborn'. That'll turn our lives upside down. _

_She has some interesting ideas, my human. When we've chatted about life, death and souls, she insists that it's not blood, a heart beat and that inexplicable 'force' that has a human span of 80 or so years isn't what makes her alive. Uh. No. Her 'being' here, in this space time, her being-ness makes her alive. And, if her soul stays with her from human to supernatural, netherworld being, she'll still 'be' just not human be, a different alive. This is what I remember most vividly, she adamantly said "And, that was why I had to 'choose' to be like you, choose to be with you, to fulfill this destiny, your destiny. Because you didn't get to choose. So I choose and it evens it out. It had to be my choice. And it is, and it closes the loop. It's our destiny now. That's why I don't need a ring or a ceremony or this state or the constitution* to sanction Us. Fate, and the cosmos already did, a while ago. I may want those things, maybe I don't, but I don't need them, it's superfluous."_

_(*She's a purist and a nut for that set of ideas on that piece of paper and swears that in it's current state it already does allow any citizen the exact same right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But, don't get her started, it's only sexy the first time.)_

_As crazy as it seems, the person who understands what I'm dealing with the most is Emmett. I don't know how or why but, he gets it when I talk about what this is like. I shudder to think it has something to do with Rosalie. I don't even want to go there. Maybe, he's just still so much of a man, even though he's a full fledged vampire. All I know is when I was venting some of my frustration, and let me tell you I swore him to secrecy, this cannot get out to that, that spouse of his, or I'll just completely lose my- well, enough said, there. Ok. But, I was bitching, frustrated, it happens and I don't want the parents to have to hear this. They'll start questioning my ability to maintain, my discipline, etc. So I grabbed Em and we went for a walk. _

"_I hear you, Sis, that's a set of real difficult circumstances to face, day after day. I feel for you, I do._

_But, I see how you two are together, you're your best because of her, you know that right? Sure, it's weird to think about her wanting to be like us. Especially because I think each of us has times when we ask our selves, who would choose this? And, are we monsters? Depends on when you catch us, I guess. I know that you're sensitive about the circumstances that brought you to this life. I hear you, I do, I get it. But, who you are is not what you are. And, who you are is not what happened. Who we are is what we chose to do, after the dust settles and we figure out how we're going to deal with what we got, that's who we are. When it was all there is left. It's what we choose to do with what happened. You woke up like this, you didn't pursue it, not responsible for it. You manage the monster. The monster has it's positive aspects to defend, and you protect the outside world from it, it's why we say managing the monster. You manage. Hell, you make love with a human girl, if that's not managing the monster, nothing is._

_Yeah, typical Em, end it on the girl on girl note, just cause you can. But, I appreciate that day he showed me something I'd never seen before. _

_I'd like to get her to spin the 'professional help' insight, let it be one more way in which someone can garner more self understanding. I'm hoping that's what last night was about, or leading in that direction. Why her mood was so off, kind of withdrawn. Maybe it's starting to be a shift for her. If it would help, I'd go with her, but that'd be too dangerous. And, that type of indulgence won't be an option once she's transformed, too much risk of exposure. She seems to see herself through my eyes more and more, as we're together and building our bond and our life together. A view of herself which she couldn't see before. Maybe, this is what my love has brought her, an unforeseen benefit. If that is indeed the case, I could not be more pleased. That's what love is, it mends the gaps. When she's feeling good and wants me, she's effortless, almost fearless. Not that she's overtly sexual, or lewd. Her desire so purely rises out of our physical attraction, shared values and trust that drew us together in the first place. To say she's traditional doesn't do her justice. It's amazing to me that she can feel so deeply and reach down and be so present when she looks into my eyes. And, when she's does, she trusts me to meet her there, equal in my vulnerability. Maybe even more than half way for me because I don't have that pesky human frailty to be bothered with. She's not overtly mentioned it, so it's just a guess on my part. _

_Her generosity is almost as broad as her compassion. Be it human, animal or monster, she is eager to see another's point of view. Especially if she doesn't understand it right off the bat, she's even more willing. As if the desire to know is second only to the necessity of extending compassion to another. Somewhere along the way it has been extended to her. I don't know where in her background this can be traced back to, which parent, which childhood experience gave her this breadth, this depth, but it's there. And, I probably love her first and foremost for that, along with about a hundred other things, off the top of my head._

_Shes starts out coy and unassuming, like I haven't already seen her go through her own unique seductive, enticing set of tactics. She is deeply authentic, her own brand of sensual. And, she's offended if it's not treated with the respect it deserves. She's not a tart, or someone who would 'trade off' or exchange sexuality or physicality for anything, please. And, this isn't mere need driven by or manifesting, no, it's a deep connection that is sometimes relegated to just physical, that I shamelessly and gladly take advantage of any time I can. I am in love with her after all, how could I not indulge her. If I don't tease her too much about it. She's thrown it back at me, comparing my monstrous thirst to her teenage hormones and I had to concede and give her the point, she'd won it fair and square. I'll miss her teenage hormones, though. If I could talk her into it, I wouldn't change her until her late thirties so that I could have her through her sexual peak. God, I think about that. Bella, a perfect, late thirties, human woman. Hose me down. She gave me a don't-even-think-about-it-Alice look, as if she'd go through eternity looking 18 years older than me. Not gonna happen. Hey, a vampire can try, right._

"_You can say anything you want about how I am when I'm like this, as long as it's dignified." She doesn't mind if I bring up the hormone thing, it recurs in our lives consistently, and it recurs as a topic. I try my best to be as loving as possible. I can't help if my desire goes through the roof. So, does hers. She reminds me though, if my comments or attitude aren't dignified, 'No access' she says with a brief hand motion that sweeps from one side of her torso to the other then briefly from top to bottom. Grab a pillow and a blanket my undead mate, you're 'sleeping' on the couch, even though you don't sleep._

_Yeah, if I piss her off, no access, I think it's official 'I'm whipped' – uh, cause that's a surprise. _

Speaking of sleeping, someone just rolled over, stretched and extracted herself from this modest bed, heading for the bathroom down the hall. It's not anywhere near morning, I wonder what's up? I didn't see anything, no image to give me a clue.

A couple minutes later I hear "Mmmm, Alice" she mumbles as she slides back into bed and curls up next to me. I feel the warmth of her body and skin against me just as I catch the not so subtle scent of toothpaste. Her hands move around behind me and pull me closer, as her mouth, warm breath and tongue find mine. She fumbles for the buttons on my silk sleepwear, moving her hands over the skin of my chest. She sits up without opening her eyes or really even looking at me. Moving her head from one side to the other, kissing me deeply, passionately "I didn't get to do this before, come here" she says as she slides on top of me and reaches one of those beautiful hands to touch me. "Mmmm Alice, what have you been thinking about while I've been asleep?" she queries. Yeah, I'm ready, it doesn't take much.

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that" I say as I arch my back into the touch of her fingers. She's kissing me and touching her tongue to mine in a similar pace with how her fingers are touching my nipple.

"I don't know what was in that head of yours, but you feel amazing."

That's code for 'You're wet'. She's understated, still kinda shy, and her sentiment is always so pure.

I writhe, feeling every sensation that I quelled a few hours ago, re-awaken in me. "Bella, you should sleep, we can -Oh, yeah, right there."

I'm close. Already. Still. Who knows. Who cares. All that matters is that her beautiful mouth and those intuitive, amazing hands are bringing me right to my edges. Quickly and effortlessly. It doesn't take much as I reach to meet her body, and her hands against me. I can't wait, and there's no reason to. I begin to unravel under her mouth and those hands and she laughs sweetly at my psuedo-teenage-boy ability to let go in record time. She's kissing me while I descend, holds me while I briefly tremble, an aftershock of her competence. Lastly, sliding her leg between my legs to lessen the sensation of emptiness.

I take a deep, unneeded breath and try to coax her into going back to sleep. A second after the words have escaped my mouth, they seem to be unnecessary. My beautiful human is already starting to drift off.

- x X x -


	4. Heated, Homosexual Cross Species Passion

A/N: Characters, settings, concepts, etc., are the sole property of Smeyer

Nearly forty members 'favorite' -ed' After All. Thanks! I'm stunned. Additionally, Thank you to the three reviewers. As mentioned in the Chap 2 A/N, it's a catharsis of sorts to write this. As much as I don't want to be 'vulnerable' around reviews and having expectations, I have to admit, it would be very meaningful to have reviews. I realize ultimately I write because I have to, and I'm grateful that After All is being read. It could really be great if some of the readers wanted to let me know about development, voice, themes and how they're expressed/executed. If not, no worries. Read, enjoy. After All is taking the place of a shrink just now. Only time will tell how successfully, hehe. Cheers! And, I'm aware that I jump back/forth between current & past tense. That's not a strong point for me.

APOV

"Em, what did you do to her, she can't move?"

I looked down at a hunched over Bella, bent at the waist, who then collapsed onto the ground, her hand over her heart. Her breathing shallow and arriving in irregular pants, gasps even.

"I'm fine, I just need a minute" she says holding up a palm in my direction, coughing a bit and wheezing more than a little.

"She's just winded, she'll get her stamina a little at a time. You'll see" he said.

"She's better than she was when we started this" Jas says, resetting the stop watch on his smart phone. He slipped it into the pocket of his track suit pants and grabbed a bottled water from the cooler. Walking toward where Bella was sitting on the grass, he whistled through his teeth as she looked up. The bottle of Evian flying through the air. She snagged the bottle effortlessly, her reflexes sharp.

"What was it like before, if this is better?"

"She didn't last five minutes of 50 yard sprints and kicking routines. Today we got up to twelve" he said proudly.

I see Bella stand up, and fold at the waist, and upright again, three times. Stretching out her lower back. Then grabbing each foot successively pulling it behind herself, elongating the muscle groups of her upper legs. She swings her arms across her body a couple times and runs in place for ten seconds. Jumping up and down, and proclaiming "Ok, I'm ready" she says in the direction of Em.

I look at the huge grin across her face as the water she just drank starts to emerge from her pores, sweat cooling off her overheated body.

"Hey, this isn't your very own live XBOX war game, minus the controller. Take it easy!"

I pause making eye contact with him.

"I want her to have some energy left over when she's done, Ok?"

Emmett winks at me, one track mind as evident now as much as ever.

"She'll be tired sure, but she'll be fired up. She's gonna have something to prove when you're sitting at her window, later."

Both Em and Jas laughed.

"It just won't last. She'll think she's got it, but five minutes horizontal, you'll lose her." Jas states, proudly.

"Yep, worn out" laughs Em.

"Great" I said, rolling my eyes. It's already over so fast anyway. Never mind, as long as she's happy. And, right this second, she looks like she's having the time of her life.

"Hey, Em, later, let's take a walk while she cleans up, I need a chat, Ok?"

"Sure, Sis. I'll be around. Look I gotta go, Jas will get the best of the intervals we've got planned, if I don't get in there. See ya" he said as he sprinted toward the far end of the grassy clearing. I can see in the distance Jas putting Bella through some jumping jack sorta push up maneuvers while blowing on a whistle looped around his neck. I wonder if he has a starter's pistol, just for effect?

Earlier, I had to convince her that we need some help. I don't know what that means exactly, but I have to find a way emphasize, how close to the edge, the Monster gets, sometimes. When I have her undivided attention and I'm not trying to convince her to be patient. And certainly not when I'm wrestling with her about our limits. When we're in it, that's not a good time to negotiate. Learned that the hard way.

Later, after I left Bella in my shower with fluffy towels and fresh clothes Emmett said he'd catch up to meet me. I'll just start walking and he'll be along soon. It'll give me a few minutes to collect my thoughts. As always, both ends of the spectrum, how it is with me and my human.

Trekking my way through the trees to the well worn pathway I've been walking for as long as I can remember, I recall the solace I've taken in the motion of walking among this collection of beautiful greenery and it's wildlife.

I'm sure Em will feel my tension. He'll be polite and won't mention it.

I'll need to find a way to wade in slowly.

_Flashback_

_I could see her standing in front of her closet, trying to choose a top to wear. I grabbed my phone and tapped out a text._

_She texts back:_

_'Thx Babe. C U soon xo'_

_Later, I was standing on the porch, having not yet knocked on the front door. I smooth my blouse under my jacket and adjust the hem of my pant leg. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I guess why doesn't matter. It makes me feel like this is what being alive would feel like. If I could remember it. So, I'll take this little bit of that anxious feeling. Charlie and I are civil with each other, you could even say warm most times. Maybe it's because even though it's unsaid between us, I think he knows. Well almost knows. I think I haven't seen him 'officially' since I sat through his parenting rant, owning the unspoken part that is mine, my part of what happened when we left. She is His Daughter. Not that I can know he knows. But, my instinct says he knows. That's probably the butterflies._

_I tap lightly a couple times. I hear his footsteps on the other side of the door, a pause and the door swings open. He meets my eyes, a smile. Not overly warm._

_"Hello Alice."_

_"Hi Chief Swan."_

_"Uh, come on in. Have a seat. Can I get you water, soda?"_

_"Thanks, no. I'm good."_

_We sit in silence for a minute. No one's gonna accuse Charlie of being a talker, that's for sure. After a minute he breaks the silence._

_"She'll probably hurry if you go on up, if you want" he suggests, smiling._

_"You're probably right, Chief- "_

_"Alice please, call me Charlie."_

_"Right, Charlie."_

_Taking the stairs at human speed, I tap on the door, wait and turn the knob._

_"You don't have to knock Alice, come on in" she says, a smile breaking her face in two._

_"It's polite, when a door is closed, that's all" I say as I hear it click shut behind me. I look over and move toward her. She's wearing jeans, a long sleeve tee under a snug short sleeve v neck. She's pulling on Chucks over socks, while perched on the edge of her desk chair. As soon as she's done, I move to stand between her knees hoping to get a kiss._

_"Hey" I say, reaching for that head of beautiful hair._

_"Hey Yourself" she says meeting my hand and bringing it to her lips. She turns my hand inward and kisses the inside. If my knees could buckle, they would, right now. That soft, intuitive mouth. If she's tongues my palm, I'll lose it._

_"Mmmm, Babe, stand up" I ask and bringing that soft, petite body as close to Me as I can get it._

_She meets my mouth, lips, tongue with her warm breath and I could melt on the spot._

_I pull away from our kiss when she needs to breathe. I remind her that we have movie tickets and want to have time to have dinner, too._

_"Ok, fine, but later, I get to finish this"_

_"Yeah, cause I'm going to say No" I laugh rolling my eyes. She snakes her hand down my lower back resting it there, her other hand around my neck, leaning the full front of her torso against me for a minute. It's quiet. Then, "Lead the way" and we head downstairs._

_In their modest front room, I hold her coat draped over my arm when she looks in Charlie's direction. "Dad, it might be a late night" a slight upturn in the pitch at the end as if to imply a question of 'you're OK with that if I tell you first, right'?_

_Charlie makes eye contact with Me after his eyes move from Bella's._

_"How late?" he queries, directed at Me._

_I look at Bella._

_"Two" she states._

_"Really, Two? That's bold- Two? You sure?" he asks._

_"Well, we've got tickets for the nine o'clock show, dinner, plus the drive, don't want to rush."_

_Charlie is silent, waiting._

_"It is Saturday night, Dad" Bella says convincingly. "We really are going to the movies."_

_"Ok, fine. But, call if there's anything I'd be, you know worried about, all right?"_

_"Yeah, of course. Two. See you then."_

_"Thanks, Charlie, goodnight" I say unable to contain my smile._

_Just as I'm about to close the door._

_"Uh, Alice-"_

_"Yes?"_

_A raised eyebrow- , a father's caution, a piercing look right through me._

_"Drive"_

_PAUSE_

_"Safe."_

_I swallowed. A smile I pulled from who knows where._

_"Yes. Of course, Charlie." I say, meeting his eyes, before I pull the door closed._

_We made it to the movie with time to spare. I like arriving after the trailers have already started. Bella doesn't mind missing them. Mostly it's just easier for me to be in the dark with strangers in such close proximity. I don't like elevators, either. We are fans of the stadium seating, though. We lift the arm rest and can be close. Bella's more than her usual affectionate self. I'm not complaining, it's fabulous, I could get very used to this. And, hope that even with an eternity to bask in how it feels, I'll never tire of it. It's not just touchy, feel-ee affection, it's passionate. She's a human on a mission. I'm not sure what is behind this, if anything specific, but I'm thinking ahead to some alone time. She's not gonna want to go to my house. My annoying brother and head-up-her-ass sister will more likely than not, be there. So, I'll have to drop her off. The end of our official, proper date. And, sneak in through her window later. But, we'll have to be quiet, that's always the hat trick. The freakin' sound, putting the kabash around our being, well us, intimately. As if it's not already a big challenge. Wish I could upgrade the Swan house with industrial insulation, as a christmas gift, or something. But, it'd be too obvious, right?_

_End Flashback_

I'm jolted out of my recollection by Emmett bounding up to me as I'm walking.

"You look a million miles away just now." He says.

I smile at his genuine enthusiasm, the boy-man he can be. He really is happy for me, with her, for Us.

"She's loving this, you know that right?"

"God yeah, I can see it"

"She's eager and willing to follow direction."

I nod my head as we walk.

"It took her a while to realize we weren't going to make fun of her. That we'd only give her as much resistance as she could handle. Once she felt comfortable with that, she loosened up."

"So, that's kinda what I wanted to ask you about. So, I'll probably grasp for my words. -this isn't easy for me, I'm a private soul Em, you know that about me."

In my peripheral vision, I see Emmett nod his head.

Here goes. "Only as much as we can handle, not a bad lead in. So between what you remember when you were human and what it's like now, too. Is it weird to be so much stronger? I'm struggling, Em, I know that there's more of a middle and I think that, this is tough. If you were a girl, would this feel easier?"

"Maybe it wouldn't be easier, maybe it's just difficult."

We take a couple hundred yards of this atmosphere in silence.

"Maybe it's not about you finding the exact words. Be in the struggle, it's Ok."

I took a deep, unneeded breath. I know saying the words will be good for me, for us.

"Obviously, some things are just plain off limits right now. I don't want to accidently hurt her, fractured or bruised, etc. She's human, she's a girl, she's not tough. I don't think about it, she's just her. I don't think about it unless something obviously mortal reminds me-

She gets undressed, or tears up. I don't think about her being anything other than just Bella."

We walk another stretch of the path in silence. This is where Em shows not only his patience, but how important what we share is to him. I'm so grateful for that. Not everyone sees this side of him.

"So she's frustrated that you have access to her that she doesn't have to you- "

PAUSE

"And that, and, that I don't completely let go" I add.

"She gets why, right?"

"Oh yeah, no question. But, like any person who in their head knows that something is being withheld- that becomes the focus. She can't help it. She's also young and curious. It's not a stretch to fathom how _new_ it all is to her."

"Yeah we kinda all figured that she was fresh out of the wrapper"

I slap a palm to my forehead in frustration.

"Em! C'mon, dignity. Really. She'd be so embarrassed if she thought anyone mentioned that. Whether it's true or not. And, I'm not saying, either way. Please" I implore.

"Well, no shame in that Alice, sorry if it sounded crude"

I hope to bring the conversation back to where it went off track.

"And, if everything else isn't enough, she's just naturally

stubborn. I always knew that about her, I accept it. This is when it's a challenge, when she gets frustrated."

Imagine how impractical it would be to have to bring her to Carlisle so he can caste her hand because I've broken eight bones outta what, twenty seven?"

"Not to mention, painful, Oohh, bad all the way around"

he adds.

"Yeah, well sometimes it takes all I have to not give in to her. We're in love, Emmett, we're supposed to want to- " I paused, not knowing how I wanted to finish the sentence.

"Do everything?"

"Yeah, right!"

"Oh, Totally. That's expected."

"In all my existence, it has never felt like this. And, she can very persuasive."

"And, don't even get me started on my fears about losing control.

Can you hear the conversation with her parents- _Charlie, Renee, I accidently killed your only progeny in __the throes of heated, homosexual, cross species passion. Sorry about that._"

Em laughed. "Well, that's almost funny. You got a sense of humor about it, I'll give you that"

We were both quiet as we walked.

"We need help, Em. It got really close, recently."

I can't wimp out, just keep on.

"Ironic, it's letting go, but it really is only letting go, partially.

"I know. Hey, that's why were toughening her up now, she'll be less fragile." He smiled proudly.

"Yeah, I get that, it's well intentioned but kinda miniscule by comparison. Ironically, it's not letting go if we don't 'let go' and yet- , You know what I'm trying to say, it's a balance, I walk it all the time" I let my sentence trail off.

Em looks at me attempting to decide if I'm ready to hear what he has to say.

"I don't think there's one answer. I think that more than anything, you just need a place to take what you feel, your fears or doubts and voice them. And, when you're with her, you'll find that middle that you seek. You both will. Believe me, she doesn't want a broken hand or a sprained anything, lastly her knucklehead squashed like a peanut. Certainly not now that she's enjoying the training she's doing with Us, me and Jas."

It was quite for a few minutes as we walked winding our way back down the hillside toward home.

"Think about it this way. Human guys can overpower the woman they are with. But, when I was just a guy, I was aware of the strength that I had, in comparison to who I was with. It's just something we learn to be aware of. You're probably better at it than you think you are."

"Is there more, something that you're getting at that you haven't said?"

"It's complex what we manage, your circumstances, as we've said"

Well, if you just need to have a place to feel what you feel, it's here with me you know that."

I begin again, ready to go a bit deeper.

"I don't want to be too detailed- , it's impatience, she gets impatient with the limits- "

I pause.

"She sees how much it takes for me to manage my strength, but doesn't really know what it's like-

What it takes to NOT let go 100%. I'm glad that she lets go 100% -it's fabulous, it's beautiful"

I'm in my head for a brief second I'm in the visual of her face and closed eyes while she lets me unravel her.

"She lets go, because she can"

Thankfully, we're still walking. I need the distraction of the motion. Or, I'll chicken out, and I probably really need to say this.

"She wants me to let go, like that, and it's just not a good idea. She's frustrated and impatient. She's young. I love her youth and her humanness. The impracticality of it is kicking my ass, though"

"Well, Hon, maybe there's a piece of this that you're missing because you're so close to it- "

He paused and we took another 100 yards or so while I waited for him to get to his point.

"Yes, this is the challenge of those attributes that she is, young and human- "

"Yeah, what are you getting at Emmett?"

_FLASHBACK _

"_Hey, beautiful, wanna come in?"_

_She queries while sliding the window open completely, as I make my entrance. _

"_Yeah."_

"_Come here" she says pulling me against her, lips on mine without any hesitation._

"_Is Charlie asleep?"_

"_Uh huh. He was waiting up when I came in. He closed his door 'bout an hour ago."_

_She was already changed into her pajamas, an extra button undone._

_She had her teeth brushed and was ready for bed, pulling me down with her. "Alice" she says as she kisses me._

_While we kiss and touch, she's adamant about getting me out of my clothes. Not that I mind, it's just a bit more assertive than how she usually is. _

"_Mmmm, Babe, hold on a sec" I say- I lift as she pulls on my jeans. "My shoes, hold on" I whisper and laugh, against her mouth as she struggles to reach my shoes and pull my jeans at the same time._

_We move and kiss and touch. She has taken control of our sharing this time-space. _

"_Alice, I want you- " she is half stating and half asking for permission. _

"_Hmmm, Babe, Me too, -"_

_She moves one leg between mine and her hand is not so subtly inching it's way to what she's hoping will be it's final destination. _

_Were lying down, rolling around, enjoying the feel of being against each other- , hands and lips. She climbs on top of me and is resting her upper body weight on her elbows. Her left hand moves behind me, down my lower back, pushing us if possible, even closer together. Her body against mine moves rhythmically, but changing it up with the occasional extra beat. Not just to catch me off guard, I'm sure. It seems it's more about who she becomes when she is in her desire, when she wants me. I am fighting slipping away, drifting to a place separate from the immediate here and now- The monster can get hypnotized by the assertiveness, a posture like this that is accentuated by the motion and her breathing._

"_Alice-, Mmmm" she's stroking my calf, moving her hand to my knee_

_Mmmm, I am half way between my rational self and my desire controlling me- , I relent, drawing both knees back-_

_While she kisses me, lips, tip of her tongue and warm breath, between broken words._

"_I like that when I do that, you do this" implying my knees withdrawn creating access for her_

"_it's so sexy- " she exclaims, breathlessly._

_It's a reflex of my desire, I don't think about it. Drifting between caution and passion, I meet her lips, kiss and touch her bordering on feverishly as my desire rises._

"_I want you here" I say, touching her chest and pulling her body into me with my other hand. My words emerging staccato as I move beneath her, pacing my hunger for her. Watching the monster as if I am outside myself, almost an out of body experience._

"_Alice" she says, between kisses, and I am struck momentarily with sound of my name as it falls from her beautiful mouth._

_She can kiss- , she's amazing with those lips and can really commit. And, she loves it, an endless, boundless desire to connect with me by kissing. As a form of expression, her favorite, I think. For her it's a subtle art form that is a mix of pressure, technique and probably just human woman. _

"_I want inside, Baby, please."_

_This jolts me back to the here/now, and I ponder in a flash, how stable I feel, or don't at this moment._

_I move one hand to her hip and hold her slightly up, interrupting her motion. Her full weight isn't alternating between rising and resting directly on me for a brief couple seconds._

_This break gets her attention and she stops kissing me, ready to plead her case- , a pause._

_She meets my eyes._

"_Babe, if we do, You have to pay attention and not just full on, you know Go- , whatever you want. Last time, was really-"_

"_Alice, No buzzkill, Please, Not Tonight- "_

"_Honey" but before I can get anymore words out, she's covered my mouth with her mouth, and I'm caught, literally unable to think or complete a sentence. I'm swirling in the current of my desire mixed with her assertiveness. Momentarily caught up, not rational just now._

_We kiss passionately, repeatedly, while the back of her hand hovers teasingly, taunting, as close as possible- for what feels like a long while, slowly moving anticipating, teasing-_

_I return to the reality of the moment and try again-_

"_When I say- , no excuses, Uh" -I attempt to continue as her finger tips, poised, awaiting my consent, hovering, and a wave of desire rocks through my whole self._

"_Yes, but when I- " too late, she's the spring that's has sprung._

_She got her way_

"_Uh, Bella, Kiss Me Now!"_

_End Flashback_

I'm in the present now, walking next to Em on the path. He doesn't mention my being away in my head. For us in our altered perception of time it was almost unnoticed it seems.

"Apparently, my human has her monster, too." I laugh and he meets my eyes.

"Would she admit it, if it'd help to talk about it?"

"Sure, she's not in denial. We just haven't gotten there, yet"

"I'm mostly so relieved that- , I didn't end up breaking any part of her" I say.

"Or squashing her head like a peanut" Em adds, wanting to laugh, but unsure if I'll find his analogy funny.

"Yes, my favorite brother, squashing her head like a peanut. I'm glad that this provides some amusement for you."

"And, the visual, don't forget the visual."

"How could I, I like the visual too. It's even better being half of the visual. Something you may never know, let me just say- " I add, visibly relaxing for the first time since our walk began.

"Yeah, sure, rub it in. I've been aware of that for a good portion of my immortal existence, by the way. I'll not experience that the way a woman can. Let me get back to what I think you may not see, Ok?"

"Yes, go ahead."

"Maybe if she knows that this isn't about her ability to bring you to 100%, she may need to be reassured. And, that the vulnerability of being at 100% is being compromised, because you don't get there, just now. Maybe those two ideas or something that conveys that may help. Or you could just let her see the monster and scare the crap out of her. But, that might fuck things up more."

He pauses, realizing what he's just said.

"Uh, let's scratch that idea, Ok?"

"Yeah, that one's not on the table. Not an option, but thanks for trying." I laugh.

"And, Em, I'll think about that, I see it differently, now- , because of what you said" I smiled.

"Hey, that's what big brothers are for. I'm crazy about her, we all are. And, happy for you, too."

We look up, as we almost reach the back porch, and whose walking toward me, freshly showered, holding a hairbrush.

"Hey Babe" she slips an arm around my waist, leaning in to kiss me.

"Hey yourself" I say eyeing the hairbrush. "Somebody asking for some otherworldly help with that mop of gorgeous hair?"

"Yeah, you mind? You do a better job" she states.

"Sure, for you, anything" I laugh, winking at Em.

"Well, not anything" she says.

"Yeah, I know. Hey let's chat about that subtext, but not here. The walls have ears. We'll do you hair, and I'll take you home, Ok?"

"Deal."


End file.
